Tuesday, October 11, 2005

the small stuff

I’ve been a bad, bad, blog gal. Yes, it’s been a while since my last post. Truth be told - I depise WordPress. It’s just too complicated for my practically computer illiterate self. Working with WP makes me feel frustrated & stupid. Blogging is suppose to be fun!!! So, my rockstar cousin is working on getting rid of WP. YAY!! I do need to take a computer course or two or fourteen & it’s on the top of my “to do” list, but it will have to wait until after the wedding.

I’ve also been plagued with a bad case of anxiety. I tend to be a bit of a worrier (I think it’s an Italian thing), but, the last week or so, it’s been really bad. I’m not sleeping much & some nights not at all. Which means that even when I’m awake, I’m just not myself. My brain just isn’t functioning properly. Brain farts are now occuring about 3 times a day. And at night, while in bed, my mind is racing like a high speed movie chase scene. The bags under my eyes are so large that I could fit about 2 weeks worth of groceries in them. “I feel pretty, or so pretty….” NOT!!

So, what’s been stressing me out? Well, that big ole subway bomb threat for one. I still took the trains & all, but was shaking the entire time & looking at every backpack & shopping bag as if it could be loaded with explosives. Then yesterday, it was announced that they didn’t receive the info from a reliable source. Hasn’t President Bush ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf? Probably not since he doesn’t read much. Please Mr. Bush, stop terrorizing New Yorkers with these false threats!!!! We’re getting so use to them & beginning to think that they are hogwash, that when/if a real one is issued we’ll not take any notice. Jeez. How much longer is this guy in office?

The wedding is of course the other source of stress. We are both working lots of extra hours to come up with the cash to pay for this. Paying for the actual wedding day is not that big a deal. We set up a tight budget & truly are sticking to it. It’s all those extra expenses that we just didn’t think about: A suit & plane ticket for Kyle, Tom’s son & best man; beauty expenses- ie. hair, nails, makeup, etc; the rehearsal dinner; the honeymoon. And unlike most Bridezillas, I not stressing about making that day perfect. Perfection is overrated. Yes, they’ll be minor quirks & mishaps, I’m sure, but, as long as there’s not the blizzard of the century on that day & I don’t burst into flames, it will be fine. I’m more concerned about the out-of -town guests getting lost, our families that have never met, getting along & everyone having a really good time. And like any wedding there are some inner rumblings. You know, people complaining about us & our less than traditional choices. Not to our faces, but behind our backs, which drives me crazy! I will be the first to admit that I can be the B word in a big way (also an Italian thing), but, I’ve been really open about others ideas & input & trying to make everyone feel included.

So, it seems that I’m sweating the small stuff & things that have not happened yet & may never. It’s a bad habit. One that’s making my hair fall out. And I don’t know how to stop it. Tom tells me to breathe. My mom says, “Let it all roll off of you.” Friends have suggested everything from yoga to bourbon. Maybe I should start by reading that book? I don’t know, but any suggestions that you have are welcome.

Posted by Dawn Falcone @ 1:20 PM 8 comments

8 Comments:

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At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 11th, 2005 at 11:37 am e
glycerin Says:

Exercise. That’s the key, my dear. Kills all the stress, connects you with you. I do great thinking on that damned treadmill.

You should make your wedding what you want it to be. The fact that you are trying to make everyone feel included puts you way ahead of most brides. It’s a fine balance between having the wedding you want and making everyone feel better about your most special day. No matter what happens on the actual day, whether you walk down the ailse to a tango (like I did) or have a sting quarted playing the wedding march, you will enjoy yourself and so will everyone around you. Everyone wants you to be happy! Because we love you!

Work out and it will all work out. Huge hug!

 
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At 11:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 11th, 2005 at 1:55 pm e
Yvonne Says:

Oh I hate that feeling Dawn!

I so understand how you feel about the subway. The Netherlands is on that list too. First Spain, then London should Amsterdam be next??? It’s so frustrating.

I can’t really advice you what to do because the best thing is just to go on. I always have to think about that text in a Desree song “we live in a crazy world but we’re still in bed” and I feel so guilty.

I wish you best!

 
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At 11:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 11th, 2005 at 4:56 pm e
Marilyn Says:

Planning a wedding (I hear!) is always stressful. It’s one reason I’ve never done it…ha! It often ends up being about pleasing everyone else…hope you’ll remember that it’s only important to please you and Tom. As for the subway threat…I don’t mean to sound cynical (okay, I do), but frankly I don’t know why New Yorkers would take ANY of those advisories seriously, since this administration seems to issue them only when they want to divert attention from something else–and that’s downright evil to get people scared for no good reason. They’ve done it so many times now, that pretty soon no one’s going to take it seriously even if we should. I agree with your other commenter–exercise always does wonders for my anxiety level, even if (particularly if!) it’s the last thing I feel like doing.

On October 11th, 2005 at 11:31 pm e

 
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At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 11th, 2005 at 11:31 pm e
Leslie Says:

You cracked me up with the “burst into flames” bit.

I was about to burst into flames myself before mine. Five days before my wedding I was doubled over in abdominal pain, and ended up in the hospital.

Grand.

Turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst.

Oh and then I found out I was pregnant!

Yeah. I was stressed!

Maybe you need another spa treatment!

 
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At 11:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 14th, 2005 at 8:49 am e
Giao Says:

Oh Dawn, wedding planning is a very stressful exercise. Perfection or no, it’s stressful. I took up yoga. It was the best thing I could’ve ever done. I say squeeze that in when you can. And Leslie’s suggestion for another spa treatment is spot-on. Hee!

It will all turn out wonderfully. I know it feels giant and scary and uncertain right now. Do what YOU want to do, stick with your vision, and your day will be all yours and magnificent. I know it!

 
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At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On October 18th, 2005 at 8:05 am e
hope Says:

I agree with Tom - just breathe! The wedding will be wonderful, no matter what, becuase you two are in love and happy together. This day is for YOU remember - not any one else.

I am always a phone call away if you need to vent!

 
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